The Prequels We Never Wanted

When the word "prequel" comes to mind, we usually think of the latest Star Wars Trilogy and the agony "wesa" fans went through. But for the most part, we got what we wanted from George Lucas; the origin story of classic characters and how they developed into the heroes and villains we recognized in their futures and our pasts. Who didn't want to know who was really underneath Darth Vader's helmet? How long did the viewers wonder how an intimidating galactic empire rose from the shattering of a strong republic? Legitimate questions, aren't they? 

What questions seldom come to mind however are, "I wonder how Fred Flinstone got over his gambling problems?" or "Just when did the Little Mermaid learn to sing?" Yes readers, I'm talking about the later developed prequels that we cringed to hear, heckled the concept of, and strangely enough, caved into watching for the sake of our curiosity. 

Not all prequels end up terrible, however. Red Dragon serves as an interesting perspective into the lengths one Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter will go to in achieving revenge on his jailer. Yet this remains to be almost shunted aside when the filmmakers decide to go for a much deeper analysis of this serial killer's past when Hannibal Rising came into the picture. Or what of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? I'm tempted to bet you didn't even know that film was in fact a prequel. Indeed, when the famous Dr. Jones' endeavours in Indiana are set in 1935 and his search in Raiders of the Lost Ark take place only a year later, you can't help but wonder why the writers decided to make it a prequel at all. 

And yet, it's the terrible origin stories that we just can't scrape out of our skulls. Though fans enjoyed The Mummy remake trilogy starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, they didn't expect to see an entire movie dedicated to Dwayne Johnston (then called The Rock) and his character of the Scorpion King and his heroic days in Egypt. Well, given that by the end of the film he's a buffed-up, sword slashin' warrior who just overthrew a villain, it leaves the audience completely clueless as to why he suddenly chooses world domination by the opening scene of The Mummy Returns. 

We could even look back on the popular comedy, Dumb and Dumber. When the film's attention is devoted solely to the performances of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, it really doesn't give the audience much incentive to want to check it out when neither comedians return and are instead replaced by two Twenty-something actors who are just going for imitations and not giving the same natural comedy as the original. We didn't want a prequel, we wanted a SEQUEL! 

Or even back to my original example of the Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. Ever wondered if Hollywood's gotten completely bored in coming up with ideas? Well there's your answer. Returning us to the ill-received film adaptation of this prehistoric comedy, little is received to entertain children and the concept's just too juvenile to make the adults laugh. Not to mention that a floating green alien was crammed in at the last second of writing just for the sake of "mating rituals." 

I think the pain itself can be felt through that last sentence. 

Name below some of the prequels you just shook your head at...