Super 8 Review

Did you grow up watching those Spielberg adventure classics like E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind or The Goonies. No? Well then, you have my pity. But just to get you up to date with the flavour of nostalgia, J.J. Abrams unites with Spielberg to bring 2011's movie goers, Super 8.

Set in sunny 1979, the American town of Lillian finds itself in the midst of an emergency following a train accident carrying materials and other unknown cargo from Area 51. The government quickly moves in to take control of the situation, intent on recovering anything...or anyone...that went missing from the crash. Joe Lamb (Joel Courtney) and his friends who witnessed the crash while filming a movie, go searching for answers while mysterious abductions begin to pop up around town.

Abrams may not have earned himself Spielberg's reputation in Hollywood just yet, but his credentials as a filmmaker are more than worthy of teaming up with the cinema legend. His style of direction with a love for action and all things visually groundbreaking work wonderfully to what his partner-in-crime brings to the film; a wonderful musical score with a likeable cast of preteen troublemakers.

Touches of the old classics that parents grew up watching as a kid can be found everywhere, and the art department really went all out in giving that 70s feel; everything from the Tab cans to the shag carpet. But for the generation of our kids, the maturity bar is raised a little bit higher than what you grew up with, which makes for Super 8 to be an impressive ride but a hit-and-miss when it comes to fun for the whole family.

Thor Review

Marvel returns with a bang this year, starting its next installment in the cinematic superhero universe: Thor.

When the God of Thunder (Chris Hemsworth) is kicked out of the realm of Asgard for his arrogance, he finds himself on Earth powerless and the secrets of his origins being hunted by the government. While he tries to find a way back home, war has broken out in Asgard for his errors and a treacherous enemy has begun seizing power in his absence. Will Thor be able to regain his honour and become save both worlds?

Kenneth Branagh, the director, helms a fanscinating take on the comic book/ancient Norse mythology by mingling it into a balance of both fantasy and sci-fi. Everything in the sets and design is truly brilliant, considering what it all stems from and it helps bridge the modern world with this historical story so well.

Hemsworth makes for a very macho, blond haired, womanizing God of Thunder, and yet for so much to read into, the screenplay doesn't look that far into him. In fact, with such a widespread cast, character arcs feel quite shallow and little feels gained in journey by the end of the film. If it's fine to settle for your classic, action-packed superhero flick, then Thor lands exactly where it's aiming for. But for what it sets up, it's lets down the viewer of how much they could have received.

Cinema Simpleton's Guide for The Room Theatre Screenings

After going to my screening of The Room in downtown Toronto, I realized why so many people enjoy attending the showings. Even director Tommy Wiseau encourages for viewers to laugh, cry and have fun during the film, provided that nobody hurts each other. So hey, if the guy who made it welcomes the idea, then why not give the people what they want?

With screenings of The Room come very interesting traditions. The most notable mentions include throwing plastic spoons at the screen when background photographs of the utensils are visible, tossing a football around the theatre whenever the boys are engaged in sports and cheering on the Golden Gate Bridge whenever a panning shot from beginning to end is shown.

But even after just one screening, I think that there are plenty of traditions that can be added to the experience. Most of the time, it’s about seeing who can come up with the best jokes by the end of the night. So here’s a couple I came up with myself.

The Magic Shed  
You may notice that during scenes on the rooftop, characters enter and exit through a doorway that’s concealed by what appears to be a shed the size of a broom closet. It’s kind of clear that this entrance is too small to have a stairwell leading back into the apartment building, so we can only assume that this is a shed is “magic” and allows people to enter and exit this plane of existence. (Narnia, anyone?) Shout “Magic Shed!” whenever a character walks into or out of the shed.

Double Rainbow 
This one was noticeable courtesy of the guy sitting behind me at the theatre. When Johnny and Mark are sitting down for coffee during the infamous “How is your sex life?” scene, you’ll notice that the cups belonging to the café have the words “Double Rainbow” faintly visible on the side. Naturally it can only be considered a coincidence in regards to that proceeding famous Internet meme of the “Double Rainbow Song” (look it up on Youtube if you’re clueless to what I’m talking about). But when you see the shot of people at the counter of the café and the cup is visible, start singing out loud the lyrics of Double Rainbow.

WE DON’T WANT CHEESECAKE!  
Referring to the previously mentioned scene, with careful ears (I do realize it’s difficult to hear in a theatre of yelling viewers, but bear with me) you’ll notice that the waitress will frequently insist that customers try their cheesecake. To this, have you and your buddies shout “WE DON’T WANT CHEESECAKE!”  

The "Isney" Store
Cleverly, in the film where Johnny is walking through the streets of San Fransisco before his birthday party, a column (or tree) is blocking out of sight the letter “D” on the sign of what we can only assume to be the trademarked Walt Disney Store, which has caused viewers to frequently shout the word “Isney!” Get ready to do your best Mickey Mouse impression!

Peter Mark II
Towards the end of the film, a character by the name of Steve is randomly introduced who barges in on Lisa and Mark making out during Johnny’s birthday party. According to IMDB.com, Steve was inserted last minute as a replacement to the character of Peter, Johnny’s psychologist friend. To this, when Steve first enters the scene, you may boldly announce “Peter Mark II” or “Peter 2.0.!”

WHAT A TWIST! 
 This is in reference to any time that something meant to be shocking is inserted into the screenplay. (Ex. Denny’s taking drugs, Claudette almost didn’t marry Lisa’s mother, Lisa really isn’t pregnant) It’s of course a reference to the Robot Chicken parody of M. Night Shyamalan, so shout out “What a twist!”

Drugs are bad, mmm’kay 
Pretty self-explanatory. Again, something The Room explores not in great detail, but enough to be a recurring joke. Because of Denny’s drug dealing (yeah Denny, buying drugs when you need cash is a brilliant money-making scheme) and Mark smoking marijuana on the rooftop, do your best impression of Mr. Mackey from South Park.  It’s especially most appropriate during the very “PSA” like writing of Lisa trying to convince Johnny to drink Scotchka.

Denny’s disturbing moments 
One might say that the character of Denny is…creepy to say the least. His portrayal of an apparent man-child who has a romantic obsession with his mother figure makes him out appear to be on the launch pad for what would likely be a successful career as a serial killer. One of my personal favourites is yelling “Spawn of Satan” or “El Dialbo” during his first entrance and any of his following appearances letting out a bloodcurtling scream.

But for all you thriller/horror flick fans, pull out some of your favourite serial killer one-liners when you see Denny doing anything that could be potentially interpreted as "psycho babble." My personal recommendations?

“Hello Clarice…” –Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs

“It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…” –Buffalo Bill, Silence of the Lambs

“I want to play a game…” -Jigsaw, Saw film series

“What’s your favourite scary movie?” –Ghostface, Scream

“Seven days…” The Ring

Also, for any of you Psycho fans, start humming or singing the tune to the theme when Norman Bates kills the woman in the shower whenever Denny says something extra-creepy, like "I just like to watch you guys."  

Johnny/Lisa/Mark “Love” Scenes 
 During the awkward sex scenes, many viewers sing out loud the movie's background music or oddly enough the theme to “Free Willy." Some even bring lighters to wave through the air. My input is to sing something that overhypes the romantic feeling. Warm up those vocals and bring on “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion from the Titanic Soundtrack! My sister even recommended “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” from The Lion King.

Not the spoons!  
As mentioned in the beginning of this article, one of the most common traditions to The Room screenings is throwing spoons whenever pictures of the utensils are seen in the background. Well, during Johnny and Mark’s first fight at the birthday party, you’ll notice that the former pushes the latter against a table and smashes one of the pictures. To this, you can shout, “Not the spoons!”, or if you’re feeling overdramatic, “Not the spoons, you bastard!”

It’s a Trap! 
As a tribute to Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi, (where would the Rebel Alliance be without him?) for scenes where characters are up to something sneaky, such as Lisa frequently seducing Mark or Chris R. coming up to Denny, impersonate ol’ Squidhead by crying out “IT’S A TRAP!”

Raging Johnny 
After Lisa leaves Johnny, he angrily storms through the apartment and smashes everything. For this, I have two suggestions. Yell “Wiseau Smash” when he’s destroying stuff (I know, not that original) or during his scenes where he’s sitting on his chair, eyes shut and appears to be under demonic possession, shout out loud “The power of Christ compels you!” 

Great Scott! 
Okay, this one works best as a tagline to one of the more traditional jokes. You’ll notice that Johnny frequently refers to Lisa as his “future wife” instead of using the word fiancée. To this, viewers frequently shout the words “Husband/Wife of the Future!” in the classy 50s sci-fi narrator tone. After they’ve done that, feel free to say the words “Great Scott!” as a tribute to Doc Brown from Back to the Future.

“He’s only a human bean!” 
As a reference to Johnny reminding Denny that he’s loved by Lisa as a human being, but of course, due to his accent (which to this date Wiseau refuses to say the origins of) it comes out sounding like human bean. So whenever somebody is being treated cruelly, like Chris R. attacking Denny or Lisa manipulating Johnny shout out, “He’s only a human bean!”

Overall, it's all about having a good time while watching The Room. People love coming out and laughing with and at these characters, their lines and the scenarios they're put in. There are other traditions that can be found online and after one viewing of The Room, I guarantee you'll have the inkling to check it out again. Feel free to come up with your own list of traditions and add them in the comments below.

Arthur Review

From the desk of my good friend and colleague, Andrew Phillips, we have a review of the 2011 remake of Arthur....

Well, it’s spring. You know what that means: We’re between the serious movies of the fall/winter leading up to the Oscars and the action, explosion, “Directed by Michael Bay”, blow-‘em-up-real-good, blockbusters of summer. With spring comes another set of romantic comedies. Enter Arthur, the remake of a movie by the same way from the 1970s following the misadventures of billion-dollar heir Arthur Bach.

Arthur (Russell Brand) has what most people in my demographic would envy: more money than he knows what to do with, enough…female companionship… to make Hugh Hefner or Gene Simmons jealous, and probably the sweetest feature of all-time: a magnetically driven floating bed. The movie revolves around Arthur’s life choice: Does he marry the gorgeous-yet-unbearable Susan (played by Jennifer Garner) in order to keep his millions, or does he give it all up for a tour guide, Naomi (played by Great Gerwig).

Now, the men reading this review just closed the page with an air of “To Hell With That!” BUT WAIT! This is actually a movie guys are going to want to see. More on that in a moment.

Arthur’s frequent partying has earned the ire of his mother, and he’s about to be cut off from his money. He’s grappling with the decision to join the real world, but has no life skills. Enter his nanny and best friend, Hobson (played by Helen Mirren). Hobson is practically a mother to Arthur, and the true comedy of the movie is how they interact. Forget Arthur’s womanizing and partying, it’s how the two take shots at each other. [For kids with sarcastic parents, it feels like you’re standing in your kitchen verbally sparring with your folks.] Now, without giving too much away, the relationship really defines Arthur by the end of movie, as he finally gets the push he needs to grow up.

Now, the ladies reading may be intrigued by the “Love or Money” theme to the movie. But for the guys, there’s a reason to go as well. First off, who doesn’t emulate the lifestyle of endless money, booze, and girls. Second, Jennifer Garner is absolutely gorgeous. Third, they are some scenes with Nick Nolte that are hilarious. All I’m going to say is: hardware. All in all, the movie was funny. There isn’t a profound amount of depth in each character, but it’s enough to suffice. If you’re bored on a Friday night and want to go do something with your significant other (or maybe just a group of friends. Whatever, man. It’s cool), Check out Arthur.

A note about Russell Brand: I’m waiting for his Will Smith transformation. Smith did role after role of goofy protagonist whose comedic blundering made him millions. Eventually, the man started landing serious roles. (Seven Pounds, Pursuit of Happyness, I am Legend etc.). I’m waiting for Russell Brand to go through the same thing. Granted, his life off-screen once mirrored that he’s portraying onscreen now, but there’s only so much of the same character an audience can take. If Brand wants to be taken for a serious actor, he’ll have to mimic Arthur: make the choice between the same role as the playboy amused with cheap thrills, or a grown-up who can be serious when the time comes.

-Andrew Phillips

Soul Surfer Review

X-men: The Last Stand Review

You may have noticed that there's been a delay in finishing the X-men film series marathon and getting this review out. Well, let me ask you this: if you were reviewing X-men 3, wouldn't you be trying to delay something even if you know it's inevitable?

Let's be fair. X-men: The Last Stand has had very divided feelings from its viewers. Ranging from a decent superhero flick to failure third installment. Movies one and two amazed us with its story, characters, action and much more. But after Bryan Singer left for Superman Returns, Brett Ratner took the helm of the X-men film series and many comic book fans got themselves a new photo to staple onto their dartboards.

The mutant phenomenon may be over when a new company set on Alcatraz Island develops a "cure" to relieve mutants of their abilities and turn them human. While the X-men, (Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Sir Patrick Stewart, Anna Paquin, Shawn Ashmore, etc) receive mixed feelings to the new product, it's very existence enrages Magneto (Sir Ian McKellen) and his Brotherhood of Mutants. They declare all out war on humanity and began marshalling an army of mutants to destroy the cure at any cost. In the mix of this, Jean Grey (Famke Jensen) has returned after her apparent death, with her power levels evolved to a dangerous level that has begun to corrupt her mind. Magneto inducts Jean, now under the name of Phoenix, into the Brotherhood as a weapon for his cause, and the X-men must make a final stand to defend humanity against their own kind.

What you receive in this installment is a rich usage of the comic book mythology that the X-men is based on. The problem is that many of those characters are adapted with little to know character basis and are mostly thrown together at random. Only newcomer Kelsey Grammer as Hank McCoy/Beast delivers a solid and intriguing performance.

Much of Ratner's direction shows a lot more dumbed down story, with action losing a lot of its intensity and music being nothing like it was before. Plenty of the plot could have been cut and many story arcs don't give these characters a comfortable fit of where they should have been going from the start. Thankfully this last stand would only be followed by spin-offs, because a fourth installment would have just broken the franchise's legs completely.

What's ticking me off about two-part movies

I remember being anxious last November to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I was one of the first in line on opening day, my expectations were hyped, and the movie gave an impressive show. I laughed, I jumped and I might have brushed away the odd tear or two. But just when it was getting good, just when the plot was at its highest peak, just when my eyes were mesmerized with delight at one of the best movies I had seen all year…
The credits rolled. Some guy in the seat behind me said, “Well, guess we wait until July to see Part Two.” Part Two? Oh that’s right, Hollywood’s not completely satisfied with siphoning our wallets just yet. It’s not like seven big movies which have poured billions upon billions of dollars from the box office into Warner Bros’ pockets was enough to say, “We’ve done our job, it’s time to sink our teeth into a new franchise.” While we’re on that subject, I’d like to thank the film studio for giving Summit Entertainment the great idea of having them split Breaking Dawn, the last instalment of the Twilight Saga into two movies. More shirtless werewolves and depressed bloodsuckers, please!
Even Peter Jackson of The Lord of the Rings fame has fallen into this latest film fad by deciding to divide the Middle-earth prequel of The Hobbit into a double feature.
Hollywood, exploiting a franchise’s last chapter is one thing. Digging your fingernails into the rights of these literary pieces is just spelling out the greed in front of our faces.
Who’s to say that some die hard fan didn’t have the money at the time to view Part 1 of one of these cinematic hits, but did at the time of Part 2’s release? It’s not their fault you’re splitting hairs. And what happens when these films hit home video? Don’t think you’re going to make us pay for two films and not get a fight on your hands.  You’re cutting apart plots, characters and entertainment just for the sake of doubling the bucks.
As much as this newfound filming process annoys me, I’ll probably once again be back in the theatre come this summer to check out Part 2. Why? Because a good movie remains a good movie. But it’s not my fault if I can’t remember every detail of events that happened last year.
The only good thing to come out of all this is that the Deathly Hallows will have an eight month intermission. At least in that time span I’ll have plenty of time to use the restroom so I don’t have to leave in the middle of the second act.