G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra Review

G. I. Joe, a real American hero or a true international bombshell? G.I. Joe is based off a certain famous toyline and cartoon that told the story of the Joes, a secret operation of soldiers from around the world and Cobra, an evil organization that seeks to take over the world. Naturally, this sounds like a great plot for your Saturday morning cartoon, but would need something a little stronger for your film adaptation. Right? 

Not according to Stephen Sommers. After I watched this movie I understood completely how he was the guy behind this movie. It’s just like some of his other big movies, the Mummy or Van Helsing. Big adventure movies, a handful of terrifying scenes,cussing, but characters that have little to no personality and an atmosphere that is both cliché and semi-kiddish half the time. I understand that since this is based on a cartoon that ones a given, but there’s just no balance to it. You might as well have MADE it a cartoon! 

From one of the first glimpses of the visual effects, I almost rolled my eyes. Some of these designs look like they were still in development stage for crying out loud! Still, that didn’t stop the film from having some good action. Good, but not great, and definitely favoring the digital side. I was practically begging for them to throw Ray Park on there as much as possible. 

One thing I noticed by the end was the use of flashbacks and the fact that they only really needed half of them. The flashbacks with Duke I felt were necessary for the story, but the ones with Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were almost flat out useless. I don’t care if they filmed them, but really you could have only needed one NOT three! Another flaw to the film was the technology. Sure the nanomites thing was cool, but really most of the vehicles and weaponry they made was really not that creative. The suits look like grey Master Chief costumes and the flying vehicles look like those flying machines from Terminator. With all these kooky gadgets and action, the film is trying to become a sort of “movie mythology” as Channing Tatum said like “X-men, Star Wars, or Mission Impossible.” Fair enough, but you know what all those movies had? STYLE! Something G. I. Joe lacks! One minute it’s trying to be Star Wars, the next James Bond and, I am really not kidding, sometimes it feels like Team America! It doesn’t have a really original universe to it and seems to borrow too many tidbits from other film franchises. Because of this, the movie moves in an almost predictable fashion and I seemed to notice most of the surprises before they happened. 

Now there was ONE thing I enjoyed with this film, and that was the Cobra Commander. You know most of the performances in this movie I found weak from the start, but Cobra Commander blew me out of the water. Joseph-Gordon Levitt was the man in this film and made this guy really intimidating and mysterious. I’m not saying he deserves an Oscar for it, but I’d say this is definitely his best performance yet!